The One About Balance in a Relationship

This is the first post of a series I’m going to do called, “Things Katie has learned since getting into a relationship.” I haven’t blogged about anything regarding relationships thus far because I didn’t feel like I had a right too. Why? Well, quite frankly I didn’t feel like I should when I haven’t been in many relationships, let alone serious ones. However, since getting into a relationship, I can honestly say I’ve struggled but grown tremendously. When I say struggle, I mean that I have/am doing things that I swore I never would do if I ever got a boyfriend. One of them being what I want to talk about in this post.

I’m the type of person that gets energized off of being around other people, a true extrovert. Most of my life, those people that I was getting energized off of were my family and friends. I never really had to prioritize my time with them because I was always around them and they were the only people I cared about. Then Matt came along…*insert instrumental music played in the background of Bachelor episodes*

Getting into a relationship is exciting, especially during the beginning when you are learning about your new significant other. If you’re anything like me, all you want to do is spend time with them. What I lost sight of as I’ve gotten farther along into my relationship is the little prioritization I’ve given to my friends. Shame on me. I was doing one of the things I swore I wouldn’t do: always putting my boyfriend first, over my friends. Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend will always be a top prioritization in my life and I love all the time we spend together. But, what I also failed to realize was how much I not only miss but need time with my friends. Plus, I’m sure Matt is happy to get a break from me every once in a while šŸ˜‰ (my words not his, I swear). Especially over the last couple of months I realized while Matt has been such a source of happiness in my life, before God graced me with his presence, my friends were my major source of happiness. Just because I now have a boyfriend in the picture doesn’t mean that the joy I get from spending time with him needs to or should replace the happiness I get from hanging out with my friends. My heart has enough room for both! Plus, there are numerous things that you really only talk about with your girlfriends like how hot Zac Efron is. Actually, scratch that, Matt and I have talked about that and are in agreement on the topic, thankfully, but you get the picture.

I remember I went to Virginia Beach in the fall for my friend Emily’s bachelorette party. It was literally me, and my three best girlfriends from college all weekend long. I came back so rejuvenated and happy because of the time we spent together and the laughs we shared. That’s really when I realized that as much as I need time to grow my relationship with Matt, the same goes for my friends. I realized after that trip just how much I missed it.

In this balancing act of boyfriend and friends, what I really have failed at is actually having 1:1 time with my friends. I tend to be an extremist when it comes to “the more the merrier” mantra. I want Matt to be friends with my friends and vice versa. Same goes for his friends, I want to be friends with them! And because I wanted that, I’d make plans with friends but always invite Matt. Being the amazing guy he is, he’d always come because he knows how much I value my friends. I know I’m making this sound like a really bad thing, and it’s not. But, what I’m really trying to explain is that I haven’t done a whole lot with my friends without Matt and that’s not fair. It’s not fair to him, my friends or myself.

Thankfully, Matt is amazing and understands the value in prioritizing friendships and is encouraging of it. It’s actually one of my favorite qualities about him, the time he takes to make sure he stays in contact with the people that matter most.

I have been really trying to be better in my balancing act and I’m thankful for my friends who haven’t left me to dry. I’m sorry for being the girl I swore I’d never be. I love you all so much, you know who you are.

I also need to thank Matt, as he’s sat through many tears and tantrums because of the FOMO I was having by not being with my friends and has continually showed understanding and support when it comes to those friendships.

As Phoebe once said, “Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go (Katie interjection: I don’t want Matt to go), but this is for life.”


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