The One Where Having 3 Younger Brothers Is Great

Whenever I’m asked the question “What’s a fun fact about you?,” or “Tell us something interesting about yourself,” I usually resort to one answer: I am the oldest of four children and have three younger brothers. Typically, the response following is the same, “you have three younger brothers, that sucks!” For a while, I agreed with this statement. Not necessarily wholeheartedly, I obviously have always loved my brothers, but I would always think “if only I had a sister.”

Let’s rewind to the fateful day when I found out that I would forever be the only girl in the Agnos family. I was 6 years old at the time and like the caring older sister I was, I was pushing my middle brother Jake around in the stroller trying to keep him calm (this was a rare occasion and still is a rare occasion). I don’t ever remember all of my family going to any other ultrasound appointment when my mom was pregnant besides this one, and the only reason we went was to learn the *exciting* (this is not the word I’d use at the time) news. Finally, the ultrasound technician asked if we wanted to know if we were having a younger brother or sister and we eagerly said yes, and she yelled “It’s a boy!” While the rest of my family was celebrating, I was so angry I pushed the stroller with Jake in it into the wall. I was less than thrilled. Zach, if you’re reading this, just know it was no offense towards you my priority at the time was having someone to dress up in my doll clothes #loveyoumeanit.

August 15th, the day Zach was born, I got over the fact that I would never have someone to play dolls with, share clothes with or share my secrets with. I quickly became infatuated with my baby-Tarzan look alike of a brother. Growing up we all got on each other’s nerves which is to be expected with siblings. We’ve always been pretty tight but seeing that there is such a wide age gap between Jake, the middle boy, and Zach, the youngest, and myself, I definitely wouldn’t say we were close as compared to now. Obviously being the only girl also had a factor to play. I wasn’t included in their inside jokes actually, now that I’m thinking about this I was, I just was the butt of their inside jokes. Their pranks were always against me (dare I remind you of the snake bite incident John and Jake) and I definitely wasn’t included on anything related to girls. Despite not really being too involved in my brothers’ lives besides attending every sporting event, I did manage to get a word in edge wise and I was constantly assuming the role of “Mom.” To this day a common response to my statements from my brothers is “Ok, Mom,” or “Sorry, I didn’t know you were my mother.” Seeing as I am the oldest, I have a reputation to maintain and quite frankly I am not going to risk having my brothers ruin that for me and feel it is my duty as their older, wiser, more experienced sister to correct them or share my opinion on anything they say, because I’m always right…duh.

As we’ve gotten older and one-by-one fled the flock I will say the statement “distance makes the heart grow fonder” is definitely accurate when it comes to my brothers. I remember my first semester of college I couldn’t wait to go back home for Christmas because I knew that meant it would be mass chaos in the house and I missed it so much. Now that we all have so much going on and are in different places, I still get the same excitement when we are all going to be together. Reason being my brothers finally realized not only am I kind of cool (I didn’t say fully cool boys, I said kind of, no need to fret) but I’m also right about most things and will always have their best interest at heart and vice versa and that I’m actually fun to hang out with. This isn’t to say I haven’t learned a lot from them because I have. I’ve learned to have cat-like hitting reflexes, that boys are rarely fully clothed, and to never breath out of my nose if you catch my drift (no pun intended)…

As sad as I was the day I learned Zach was not the sister I always wanted (although sometimes I wonder based on his hair routine) and that I’d be outnumbered there have been some major benefits. I don’t have to share clothes with anyone, I usually get the final verdict in any sort of decision since I’m the only girl, and most importantly I have 3 people who have set the standard so high for any boy that may enter my life because to find someone as smart, funny, loving and charismatic as my three brothers will be hard to beat.

John, Jake and Zach, I’m proud of you and love you. However, if you try to go against anything said in this post please know i have plenty of blackmail for all of you. Just remember, as Monica once said…

If I’m harsh on you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong!;)


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